I actually got some words in my priority fic the past couple of days! It might only be just a bit more than 500 words so far, but that's still something! Calliope has come to love me again!

The down side of my muse returning is that she came along with the delivery of my new mandola, and so on top of giving me the inspiration to write, she's also whispering in my ear to play music. After finishing this chapter, please, goddess!
Anything I have left on ff.net are already crossposted on ao3. I didn't realize I'd gain such a sense of relief after doing such a thing, but it goes to show that when one can't trust the platform, it doesn't really matter how well that platform has done doing the job you want it to do.

Backing them up here has also given me the opportunity to look them over again. While I did cringe a good amount at how I wrote my fics before, I was also pleasantly surprised to find that they're still up to the standard for what I'd read myself today. I've definitely made progress, but it's comforting to confirm that, hey, I've always been rather good at this writing thing since I started doing fics.
I really don't know why I find it SO hard to just . . . write down the words I want to write down for the fic I'm supposed to be working on. One would think that after 300k+ words on that fic alone that it would be easy as pie to simply type out the scene in my head. And yet. . . .

It's not as if I have any trouble with typing out what's in my head as it comes to me. I'm literally doing it right now, as I type up this post rather than working on that fic. I've had it outlined for literally years; I've had the main plot and ending planned since the beginning; I'm literally in the middle of one of the parts I've been most excited to write. And yet. . . .

I'm even working on it on 4TheWords, that browser rpg where you fight monsters and do quests by writing! The first time I started using 4TheWords, I wrote 3k words in one sitting! I was fit to be gagged! But now my goblin brain has worked out that the game can't make me write if I don't actually hit the 'Start Battle' button! I'm literally self-sabotaging right before my own eyes, and yet the only thing I can do is get up for snacks and whine about it on my blogs. Why am I like this?

Look! Three paragraphs right there in under 5 minutes! Why didn't I use those three paragraphs for my fic rather whatever this is supposed to be?

Ugh. I'm getting a drink.

February 2026

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